Starting Over Is Never Easy But Very Possible

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Circa 2018 at City Transit Station
Starting over is never easy but very possible.  The best way to handle things is to create an actionable plan for how you want things to look as you come out of toxic relationships.

By creating an actionable plan, I mean setting intentions with goals working towards your expecting end by you performing steps to complete smaller goals/tasks to accomplish your larger goal(s).

I remember starting over in 2018 after a life of abuse.  The struggle was very real.  I went through so many emotional roller coaster rides the very first week it made me feel almost like I was losing it mentally.  Suffice it to say, I'm in a much better place.

My first task after leaving my toxic relationship was to give myself exactly one week to feel and process every emotion that came with everything I went through and everything it took to get out of the situation. I set my alarm on my phone to go off exactly one week to the day so I knew to get right up and back to life.  Yes it still hurt after that first week of processing my emotions but life still needed me to do my part.
After that first week when the alarm went off, I took a long spiritual bath in Epsom salt and essential oils and listened to some smooth jazz while scented candles were burning. That spiritual bath was an induction of me entering back into a life of peace.  Only this time, my territory of peace has increased. Being in a toxic relationship with my husband has taught me some things:
  1. What I will accept
  2. What I definitely WILL NOT accept
  3. What I really want
I will except love, but not at the cost of losing my peace because at the end of the day, what's not reciprocated is the direct path of disappointment that leads to other emotions you have no intentions of experiencing.  And by experiencing these emotions, you find yourself going into a spiral of other emotions.  And so on and so on.......

Starting with my first small task of dealing with my emotions for a week enabled me to accomplish my next task...finding a Bookkeeper I felt comfortable to share my financial experiences as a business woman coming from a toxic relationship and what my goals are to become successful at managing my finances again.  Those were my two I was bringing to the table, but what I was expecting from her as a Bookkeeper is exactly what caused me to hire her.  She also immediately gave me some other tasks to consider creating appealable and realistic steps for me to handle.

It's 2020, and my Bookkeeper and I still have a relationship that is very sustainable.  We both have added value to each others lives and we continue our working relationship to this day as well as some others I sought assistance helping me be successful on my journey to abundant peace.

Some things I encourage you to consider as you began to start over in life:
  1. Deal with your emotions - dealing with your emotions help you to put things in perspective where boundaries were crossed.  It also helps you to understand where you have become weak and where your strength lies so you can rely on it to get you back up.
  2. Don't try going it alone - there are people out here capable of helping you get on track.  These are the same people who can support you by holding you accountable for your actions such as, a Therapist, a Bookkeeper, a Life Coach, a close friend able to give you what you need not what you necessarily want. 
  3. Give yourself deadlines - this will help you remain focus and not scroll downward into depression.  Keeping deadlines will keep you focused on minding all the tasks you need to do to complete your goals.
I was so fortunate in finding my Bookkeeper, my Therapist, and a host of other business colleagues who support me on my journey to abundant peace.  I knew this time around it was best for me to not do this alone.

Giving myself deadlines has saved me from so much chaos.  I stayed centered on completing my goals and letting nothing keep me from a life of peace.  By having peace, it creates space for me to:
  1. Continue loving myself
  2. Healing myself
  3. Create stronger reinforcements for myself to remain in peace
  4. Have enough of healed self to share with others (volunteering)
  5. Accomplish larger goals I set for myself
The month of January, I started a "Starting Over" series of my podcast Proactive Eye you can listen to by clicking here.
This series includes dealing with your emotions, finances, and setting your intentions for successful living after leaving a toxic relationship.

Until next time......
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES...MENTALLY ❣

Much love,
Granny 🍷🌺😘
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